A Hoe Story Pt 1

I am losing it guys. I do not know how much longer I can stay in the house before I fully and completely lose all of my mind. I haven’t written in weeks. I haven’t really done anything really but narowlly escape depression time and time again. On the not so bright side I do get to leave to go to work. YAY! Not really but okay. I mean at this point I don’t know what I don’t know but I am going to keep going because what else is there to do? Anyways I figured since we are probably all losing it I would tell a hoe tale to enlighten us all. I could give us all a good laugh about the dumb shit we do when we are young and don’t know better. It’s a story about why we leave men in the music industry alone and about how we do dumb shit when we are young.

Anyways so here I go. Its been a while so I’m a little rusty. I had this insane associate, I wont even say friend and she was really not here on earth with the rest of us. She might have been on like Mars or something. She was gorgeous to me though but I never really knew what was actually wrong with her. I lowkey thought it was coke but listen I don’t judge. Anyways she was mad fun and always had me in some bougie ghetto shit so I loved her. I was young so she was exposing me to a whole new world. I mean she had me around NFL players, NBA players, Rappers. I loved it there. I don’t even remember if I was 21 yet but I wasn’t asked for ID so it didn’t matter. One day Ill tell you guys about how me and Gina started clubbing when we were but 19. I mean really clubbing, we were in spots we should not have been. Me and people who have 10 years plus on me can discuss clubs because we were so lit but another story for another day.

So we will call my associate Crazy Girl. I had this club thing all worked out because at this time I was still working in the strip clubs so basically any day I wasn’t in the strip clubs I was out at the real clubs. I was a regular party girl. Hence why I had to start doing drugs cause your girl had to KEEP UP and I was tired Okay! I was tired but I had a void to fill and the attention was mind blowing. It was a lot and I liked it. I wanted to keep getting it so I kept going. So crazy girl tells me that we are going to dinner with some sugar daddies. That’s how my week started. We went to Bobby Vans. They came to pick me up in a chaffered escalade with the seats facing each other and champagne! Very fancy stuff guys! Except in the fancy car with the fancy champagne was the oldest white man I had ever seen. Now if you know me you know that’s not my flavor of ice cream but especially not old. I wanted to hop out of the moving vehicle but I was already on the way to Bobby Vans. So we get to dinner and we run the bill up. Yall ever had the chicken wings at Bobby Vans? they’re gross don’t eat them unless youre not paying for them in which case ball out my friend!

I have to tell you the chicken wings were better than the old man though. He was BORING. He brought friends who were BORING – ER if that is even a word. If its not I’m making it one for the level of boring these men were. Anyways long story short they were nice and they paid bills so thanks but I was dead set on not hanging out with them ever again. Im lactose intolerant yall. No white milk. No white men. Moving on, My associate told me the next day we would be going to a listening party for an r&b artist. So I had to get my best hoe fit and I went to some place in Manhattan. It was absolutely gorgeous. It had a rooftop perfect for thirst traps and every one was milling about sipping wine, champagne and snacking on hors d’oeuvres. It was absolutely fabulous.

So now its time to actually listen to the songs and we all gathered around the singer who has a heavenly voice. He really does have a lot of voice to be so little. I was amazed by him and it really felt like he was singing to me. Apparently he was because after he finished performing he came over and hit me with a “hey shorty” mind you Im taller than him but I was star struck so I didn’t think about that until after. In my head I’m a strong six foot five inches in real like I’m five foot five inches but I had on my sugar baby stiletto’s and those babies add six inches and so I was towering over him. He invited me out to his show the next day and I accepted the invitation and we exchanged information. We talked all night and I came to find out my boy had a foot and shoe fetish. I mean I’m not judging people like what they like and plus any time you send me money to buy new shoes, do you boo. I was having a good week and I didn’t have to go to work at all.

So the next day I ran errands and went and bought some new high high shoes like he told me to. I start prepping because I’m late for everything and I wanted to be ready by the time the taxi came to get me. I was still late and the driver had to wait but whatever ! I looked ghetto fabulous and that’s all that mattered. I went in and enjoyed the show, again this mans voice is amazing and he has some hits. So after the show we go to the dressing room and he gets ready to go. It’s a whole entourage there but for some reason this one girl just stood out to me. She looked as lost as I did. I was like weird but aight. So we went to a club and got a bottle and had some drinks. We are all drunk and ready to leave. Walking back to the car now its him , me, the girl from the dressing room and the security guard. SO IM STARING IN CONFUSION CAUSE WHERE WE ALL GOING? I stay quiet though and get in the car, we get to his hotel and EVERYBODY goes upstairs. So now me and miss mamas are sitting in this beautiful hotel room staring at each other. Out walks my man naked with cocaine. I WISH YALL WOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK OF CONFUSION ON MY FACE! What the hell was going on here and why did he think I wanted to be apart of it? THIS WAS WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE ! OKAY !

So miss mamas was all for it and hopped up very excited and I was stuck! I got up and shook my head cause Nah. He wasn’t Drake or Burna Boy or nothing so its like I wasn’t really about it. He was like “where you going baby?” and I was like “home”. Miss mamas was like “ Girl, you not trynna have fun?” and I wanted to tell her to go to hell but I said “Nah girl you enjoy, Imma go home”. I took my ass home and laughed cause what the f*ck was that all about? Now I wouldn’t have made it anywhere near that man nor that room but when you’re young, you do dumb shit.  

Anyways, I hope yall enjoyed my ghetto hoe tale. There’s no moral to the story besides things change, you don’t have to stay the same. You’re allowed to get better or even worse for that matter and nobody can tell you any different. Life doesn’t stay stagnant and neither should you.

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