I hate when men enjoy things. I hate when they laugh and have fun. I close my eyes during missionary because why are you here having fun? Okay , I’m being dramatic but also not really. I’m not particularly fond of men though and I knowww thats not good because how can you dislike a whole gender but like also have you met them? SO I had a whole blog ready for today, edited and all but then I had an epiphany and wanted to share my feelings with you all. This blog is unedited and written fast but its my real, true raw feelings. It might be all over the place but hey, so is life.Maybe I’m alone on this or maybe someone will understand but I finally figured out why I hate men SOO much.
Its not just the men Ive dealt with either but watching them because I do have male friends. I realized I hate them because they do things so emotionlessly (is that even a word? Do I actually care? No) but yeah that. They just do things with out emotion that should involve emotion. I’m not saying women dont do a lot of the same shit as men because majority of my friends are women and we be doing the most too. Its done differently though. I know both women and men cheat. Not all but some. I know this because Ive only been in one real relationship and I cheated like a big dummy. I didn’t cheat before voicing my emotions about certain things many times and all of the women I KNOW are exactly like that but men yikes. They cheat because a girl has a fat ass and their girl dont and then will go back to the girl they love like nothing. To me its like, how dont you feel bad though. Is your heart a black hole?
I mean, so you have no feelings for the girl you were cheating with? A lot of men say no, p*ssy is p*ssy and that amazes me because how on gods green earth do you not care about someone you’re having sex with? I have had casual sex before as have most people but it drains me. I start to feel bad and I get no real benefits from it. I at least liked the people I have had consensual sex with. I thought they were good people at one point and time. Some of them I’m not too fond of now but I’m also smart enough to know that people aren’t one dimensional. Just because someone did me wrong doesn’t mean they’re gonna do everyone wrong. There was something they saw in me that told them they could do whatever it was they did and thats just what it is.
But I wish I could wrap my head around how men do these things. Its not just the cheating thing either. How can you have no intentions on making someone your girlfriend but introduce them to your mom, family and go on all types of trips and adventures? Why even waste that time when you could have been doing something that would benefit your life so much more. If you love someone or care about someone how could you leave them when they need you the most? I never understood that. I’m not dealing with someone I dont like and I don’t fake things well (maybe orgasms in my younger days). If I truly love someone or even care about someone and they’re good to me I think about how things will affect their feelings so it baffles me how men dont.
Now I KNOW all men are not like this but I also know a lot are. A lot of times I hide my feelings and endure my sadness or hurt alone so nobody can hold that over my head. I would hate to care about someone who in reality doesn’t care about me. I expressed these ideas to my mom and she feels like these feelings would be hard to get over. She wanted to know how I was gonna deal with these feelings and emotions. I told her I would literally just have to believe not everyone is the same. I would have to be 100% honest with the men I talk to and hope they dont lie to me because Ive definitely been lied to before. Am I ready to do this as yet? No sir. I’m working on it though.
If someone makes me uncomfortable, I need to remember those feelings are valid. I also have to remember nobody is perfect so I cant expect to find the unicorn I’m looking for. Its okay to express your feelings to someone. Its not okay if you’re afraid to express your feelings to anyone because you think they aren’t going to give you the answer you want to hear so you settle. Its okay if you express feelings and the person really tries to be more accommodating and to make you more comfortable because relationships of all kinds are about compromise.Its not okay if they change for a week to fake it. I have to say this again. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. You felt them therefor they are valid. They are real. That doesn’t mean it was the intention of the other party involved to make you feel bad but you did. What you have to do after that is to figure out if it is something you can deal with or something you’re going to hold onto.
So in conclusion men are trash and we should lock them in cages. Just kidding! Kinda.
Am I alone here ?