I’m Fighting For My F*cking Life !

It’s gonna be four months since I got fired and a lot has changed with my life yet everything has stayed the same. It is honestly the weirdest thing to not have to get up and go to work everyday and I have to tell you I’m not really a fan. I like to be busy, I like to socialize and majority of the time I am home alone or at the gym alone in my own head. I don’t know about you but my head is dangerous ( that’s what he said, ha!). I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself sometimes I’m a child. I actually wish I was a child because then the fact that I have no idea what I’m doing with my life would make way more sense and would be okay.

However, I’m an adult and it’s kind of frowned upon. Especially because I’ve had the same plan since I was a child. Let me tell y’all though I’m taking organic chemistry for the fourth time and I’m nowhere near closer to understanding it as I was the first time I took it. Your girl is more lost than that time I went to go visit that nigga in the Bronx. My professor talks and I want to tell him okay now explain that again but like I’m stupid this time cause I don’t get it. Which is wild because I aced chemistry with flying colors! I mean I got so frustrated I sat down and thought to myself maybe being a doctor isn’t for me but shit NOTHING in my life has ever been easy. So maybe it is, who am I to give up? I’ve taken it four times and I’ll take it four more times until I pass that shit because this is what I want and what I’ve always wanted. It’s my dream and you don’t just give up on your dreams.

That doesn’t mean that I can’t do other things at the same time. I mean honestly I’ve always been a well rounded individual. Classy and Ratchet aka Classet as I like to call it. I can school you on the history of art and still throw this ass in a circle. So why can’t I be a doctor, business owner and writer or something of the sort ? Multiple streams of income my dear it’s the way to me hopping out of my Tesla in the parking garage of my doorman building before I take the elevator up to my apartment with the floor to ceiling windows, stainless steel appliances, washer and dryer in unit && if I’m not too tired maybe I’ll visit the state of the art yoga studio they have in the building. I know y’all see the vision with me! Join me as we buy boneless, skinless organic chicken breasts from whole foods cause ain’t no key food around these parts! As TPain crooned on crazy ass Kanye’s song, Good Life “the good life, better than the life I live when I thought that I was gonna go crazy”. That’s all I want.

Listen though it’s cool to have no idea what you’re doing like at all, because the majority of us don’t. I know when I was a kid I never expected to be 26 and stillllll in school. I thought I would’ve been married with kids ( let’s all laugh in unison). What’s not okay is to do nothing because if you do nothing you’re no closer to figuring out what you want to do. Every second of every day is valuable so don’t waste the time you have because it’s here today and gone tomorrow. Have some fun but get shit done. Oooooh bars, the third city girl. I might add rapper to my list of careers as well. My mom was an accountant, nail tech, real estate agent, stay at home mom, fashion designer, home health aide and at one point she even worked for a non profit company. You like it? Try it. It may not work but there’s so many other things to try in this life. I know it may feel like this is rock bottom because trust me I’m there. I hit rock bottom and I hit it hard but the thing about rock bottom is that from here the only place to go is up and I’m tired of sitting on this hard ass floor anyways. I’m finna get the fuck, ASAP!

Here’s to 2020 a new year filled with new blessings and new opportunities.

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